No, I'm not colorblind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind, but
I just can't sleep on this tonight
Stop this train
I wanna get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?
Don't know how else to say it
Don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own
Stop this train
I wanna get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?
So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game to find a way to say that life has just begun
Had a talk with my old man
Said "help me understand"
He said "turn sixty-eight
You'll renegotiate
Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
And don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train"
Once in a while, when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
Till you cry when you're driving away in the dark
Singing, stop this train
I wanna get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train
Lately I feel like I've woken up and discovered that life is racing by faster than I can handle. When I think about things like getting a full-time job, moving away from school, getting married, having kids, grandkids... and eventually losing my parents, my siblings, my friends, as we all get old... I'm not ready for any of that; I don't want to be ready for any of that yet. I'm not ready to fight life out on my own.
It seems like there are people who can, at the end of their lives, lie on their deathbeds and say with confidence that they're happy with the lives that they've lived and that they're ready to go. Obviously, I'm not to that point, but it makes me wonder -- what are the things that I want to have done by the time I die? What do I need to be happy? To feel like I've really made the most of my life?
What if I were to die tomorrow? What would I regret never doing, or trying, or saying? If I were to follow the saying "live as though you would die tomorrow", how would I live differently? Would I be kinder? More patient? Would I tell, show my family and friends more often how much I love them? Would I be better about calling, writing emails? About listening? About just being there for others?
I don't know what I want out of life. Or what it wants out of me. I don't know what I want to accomplish, and see, and experience before I'm ready to go. How can I be ready to live out the rest of my life if I don't know what I want to do with it?
Honestly, won't someone stop this train?
