The real me is an introvert

A good friend of mine looked at the URL for this blog and joked that maybe he's been deceived by "thefakeheatherchan.blogspot.com". Clever. But maybe somewhat true in a (figurative) way...

Although I'm a reasonably sociable and friendly person when I try to be, I consider myself to be an introvert. I find it difficult and even unrewarding to talk about my feelings to other people, and I detest being anywhere near the center of attention. I feel incredibly vulnerable when people know or can see how I feel about things, and I especially hate being observed. I prefer to avoid conflict and any other situations that might draw attention to me and my inner feelings. Debates are not my forte. Public speaking chills my spine. Even as a musician specializing in performance, I hate performing!

I generally don't like people to see or grasp who I really am and how I work. If you don't look closely, I'll probably try to fool you into thinking that I'm really open about what I think, really comfortable with people, and really good at handling stress and worry. And I'll probably be completely content with letting you believe it, too.

So, perhaps "therealheatherchan.blogspot.com" signifies that I'm trying my best to battle my introversion and let my true self emerge here. This is the me that you don't see in everyday life.